So, the last week should have been an easy one for me seeing as school is out and I'm not committed to the whole teaching gig for 8 periods a day. But, I've been racing around doing some really.cool.stuff for work. I was out of town last week presenting to failing schools up in Chicago about how to turn their schools into an environment focused on student learning. Yes, that's right, I was getting PAID to tell the story of what I do in our department and at our school. The rat race continues this week as I have the privilege of attending an awesome, week-long conference at the U of I about how to improve my teaching, as well as how to bring ideas to the staff to help them grow professionally. It's totally invigorating and exhausting at the same time. To top off the race, XC started bright and early this morning at 6 am, meaning I'm up at 4:45 to pump, get stuff ready, etc, etc.
So, needless to say, I'm pretty worn out (not that that is an excuse at all). I'm sitting at dinner tonight, Jeremy's out of town for work, Ty is screaming and is inconsolable and Noelle is refusing to eat and adding a nice mantra-like whining about wanting desert NOW. And I snapped and yelled at her to stop whining and eat her dinner. Not screaming-yell, but loud enough that I clearly hurt her feelings and she burst into tears. Of course I felt horrible.
What a complete ass. Who yells at a little kid?
I felt SO BAD and the whole time she is just bawling looking at me with her sad-hurt-feeling eyes. Now, mind you, she gets into trouble before, I'm not saying it's all rainbows and butterflies around here. But I've never spoken to her in such a harsh and thoughtless tone. It's a lesson learned for sure and no matter how tired or crabby I am, I never plan on making her feel like that again. I got her calmed down and apologized a thousand times, with bunch of hugs and kisses, and a popsicle for good measure.
So to my little sweet girl: Mama's sorry and I love you more, most, infinity!